Hello and welcome back to another blog post! This week I am going to be discussing my thoughts and feelings about the influencer world. This has been on my mind for a really long time now trying to figure out where I stand, how I feel about the community and how it’s changed over the past few years. So stay tuned for some feelings, experiences and my opinions.
Why I Loved Blogging
I started blogging back in 2014, so a good 6 years ago now. Back then I wanted to do it because I loved reading other people’s blog posts, I loved the ‘big sister’ advice and I felt like it was a really healthy hobby to have, I was writing, taking pictures and socialising with new people all the time. Nothing was a competition and it didn’t matter how shitty my photos where i’d still have a really strong readership and it seemed to attract lots of positive attention from the people around me. It opened up a lot of doors and gave me some great opportunities.
How It’s Changed
A few years in I felt completely out of my depth because I just didn’t have the time going to university/working to keep it updated every week like I used to. I started to fall behind (I still am) and then the thief of joy came in, comparison. I used to compare everything I was doing, everything I put out just fell below average compared to what I was seeing my peers put out. Eventually in my third year of uni I just gave up and put my energy into my degree.
What I Really Dislike
After the years went by especially the past couple years I have been here and there posting whenever I can however, taking the time away made me realise that there are so many things about this community that went from positive to negative and I became embarrassed to call myself a blogger or to be mistaken for an influencer.
The thing is people see you posting selfies online and assume you an extrovert, very confident and basically full of yourself but this isn’t the case at all. I am quite the opposite but I still had tinder boys telling me I was materialistic and vain. It was annoying but eventually I gave up caring what others thought because I knew who I was.
I did however, make me look at the industry from an outsiders perspective to see that there are in fact two types of influencers (maybe even more). There are the people who LOVE it and spend so much time and energy creating beautiful content and then there’s the people who do it for the ‘lifestyle’ and money. It’s really sad because it kind of diminishes everything I loved about the industry. I felt scared to post about beauty online at the idea that people may think my work is materialistic or just another teeth whitening ad but I got it. The industry is FULL of people who post worthless ads they don’t care about just for a quick buck. Soon I learnt to just not care anymore about what people thought about what I do online and for me to stop caring about what other influencers do, even if it hurts my old 2014 blogger heart.
Another thing I couldn’t stand was the online trolling. I used to see influencers post videos crying their eyes out because people started to bully the way they look, how they do something or even how the pronounce words. My heart always bled for the people being attacked and I used to wish they would stop caring about what others said until it happened to me and I very much cared about what people said about me. I don’t have a big platforms nor do I have hundreds of thousands of followers but when I hit about 5K the trolls started coming in from random ‘Facebook Mums’ telling me my eyebrows looked like slugs, other women around my city calling me basic or men leaving gross derogatory comments in my dms. It made me not want to blog anymore and delete my Instagram account (which I think about doing often) but eventually I just pushed it off and said I can’t let someone who I literally couldn’t give a fuck about make me this upset. Now don’t get me wrong sometimes I cry sometimes I literally delete the comment and forget it ever happened, it’s a journey.
Where I Feel I Stand
So where do I fit in a community I half dislike? Well I think I pretty much have one hand in the pie one hand in a different flavoured pie. I really enjoy blogging and it is something I want to try and dedicate more time to now I feel like I know where I am. I hit a point a few years back where I realised my content doesn’t need to be perfectly polished because that’s not me at all, setting unrealistic goals of how my content should look made me hate blogging, but now I honestly put next to no effort into my Instagram account but when I do post I know that’s it’s something I am really happy with.
I am not looking to become a huge influencer like if I earn enough money to quit my job that would be amazing and I’d be extremely fortunate and grateful but I am not aspiring to grow in followers to achieve this. For me it’s just a creative outlet and I really happy being a part time lifestyle blogger doing my own thing whenever I want/can.
Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts, this blog post is very much built from the random voice notes I’ve sent my friends over the past few months.
Until next time…