As I am sure you are all aware I took an extremely long hiatus away from blogging after finishing a four and a half year relationship and being in third year of uni. Today I am going to tell you all what I realised and how making a come back to the blogosphere has brought a little more meaning to my life.
Lets start with the most obvious, I became less stressed. I was in the second term of my final year at university so all my spare time had to go towards doing my degree. After my breakup I was very sad and had no motivation for life let alone blogging and that feeling just turned into a dark habit. Despite graduating and feeling a little more happier in my life I still had this bad habit I couldn’t quit. Feeling 10/10 on the stress meter with blogging and then stopping kind of filled me with dread to come back because I had convinced myself that the stress would come back. I was wrong, it hasn’t. This time around I am taking a more relaxed approach, so if I have nothing to say I am not going to force myself to push content out nor am I going to push out content I am not 100% happy with. This really made a difference and now I am actually feeling a little more motivated. Also seeing how many people are reading my blogposts, engaging with me and telling me they are happy I have came back really gives me a boost.
Do It For The Gram
Being away from my computer writing didn’t stop me watching YouTube videos, reading blog posts and keeping up to date with bloggers on Instagram. The only thing was I felt I was just constantly seeing people force their ‘perfect life’ in my not so perfect life’s face. I felt that I became more aware of ‘influencers’ who buy their followers, use bots and are honestly showing this glossy life that is unattainable to me and probably many others. This really pissed me off but also made me feel worthless and what was the point in me even continuing my blog if I can’t produce all this insanely picture perfect bright white asethtic that everyone seems to love. Well I then came back down to earth and remembered who the fuck I was and why I started blogging; because I love writing, taking photos and sharing my thoughts. Blogging is something I love and I needed to remember that. I also unfollowed anyone I thought was buying followers or basically cheating their way to the top.
Where Am I Going.
Despite only recently feeling like I know where I want to go with my blog it has honestly taken me months to come to this point. I dithered around with coming back, whether I was good enough to, Whether I still even wanted to be Bitchin’Blonde. There was so much self doubt and questions I was asking myself but finally I feel I came to an answer and kind of an agreement with myself. While I was driving around America me and Mic had so much time to talk and with his help I just basically figured out what I wanted, I was stuck in a car for hours so there was no escape lol. Then as soon as I landed back down in the UK and got back to blogging and it feels so good.
Putting Down My Phone.
Basically not really having a hobby anymore and spending more time with my friends really lead me to not spend so much time burning my eyeballs out on Instagram. It was great and this new habbit came back to blogging with me. I try when I am with the people I love not to spend all my time fixated on my phone stressing my brain out over blog content and comparing myself to other bloggers, don’t get wrong this still happens but less. I set aside time for blogging and aside time for life. This has had a great impact on my mental health and has also kind of freed up a little more time to explore other things I love or pour my creativity somewhere else that isn’t breaking my thumb or melting my brain.
I’m Back Bitch.
Most of all it made me realise how much I love blogging. I missed spending time with Abbie doing blog stuff, planing content and creating cool things. It gave me even more of a push to come back when I finally realised it was still what I wanted to do. My brain kind of reset itself and I knew I wanted to do it again and I re-fell in love with my blog. I also had a burst of creative ideas and all these different things I want to do, coming soon to a screen near you. So yeah I am pretty fucking excited for 2019. I feel it’s going to be a really good year for Bitchin’Blonde, fingers crossed.
Thanks for reading…
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